As a child you are programmed from the start by your upbringing, because you are totally open and dependent on security, love and physical nourishment. As an adult you bear this child with you, which is reflected in the dependency for appreciation and confirmation by the outside world. In this child you are still dependent, insecure, helpless and frightened.
As an adult you close this child off, but becomes emotionally visible in your attitude and reactions, especially when you are under pressure. The fulfilment what painstakingly is required can only be achieved when you stop looking for help from the outside world and are going to look for fulfilment inside yourself.
It means that you take responsibility and gain insight into your child's emotions and reactions instead of projecting them onto the world and others to blame. The state where you are in, here and now, is a reliable measure how inwardly you stand for. What comes to you from the outside world you could see as a mirror of yourself, where you could learn from.
Such programming is a form of hypnosis. In the first four years of life, the most basic strategies are formed. From here emotional conclusions are formed and inner images are recorded. Such an inner image influence your life without realizing it. You interpret your life again and again as you've experienced in your childhood.
The programming which is reflected in your thinking pattern is difficult to see through your mind, as your mind, trying to understand things, is as fragmented as the reality that occurs to you.
This programming is not only due to the indoctrination of your childhood, but also by your own genes - predestination. You took all the karmic past by birth to attracted the parents you need to activate your karmic material. It is important that you recognize this and acknowledge it. This is the task you have taken on in your life. Many people don't know this and put the importance of their life on the outside world where they want to succeed.
By becoming aware of your programming you may go de - hypnotizing; this involves your outdated children's images, which you still identify yourself. We think that we are guided by our logical mind, but if we look consciously into our daily routines, emotional reactions and recurring problems, we see how our subconscious programs from our childhood always define us again. So we constantly repeat our past.
It is important to approach the child in you with love and understanding. For the child in you is full of feelings, it comes back in your dreams, your fantasies, also when you are sick or depressed.
It is not a question that you have to be perfect. You are already perfect if you are facing today imperfection and acknowledge it and try to come to terms.
The child in you has great strength and is actually the child in you that wants to be born again and really brought to life within yourself. Because the child is also magical, creative, playful and full of energy. If you could free your fear and anger, the child in full freedom and happiness will fill your personality.